Life Without You
by RichonnesKatana
Summary: My very first fic uploaded to the site. Its been 3 years since Enid left the Alexandrians and she hasnt looked back, until one day and everything changes. (I was appalled at the utter lack of Carnid fics)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1.

Enid sat alone, examining the scars on her wrists that were too symmetrical to be accidents. It had been 3 years since she had left them, the Alexandrians. She had left the day that they had came home, some of them still crying, from the fateful day of meeting Negan and Abraham being killed. She had ran away that day and she still regretted it,. She thought that they probably wouldnt have searched for her anyway.

She had grown up. Her hair was cut shorter, just at her shoulders. Her voice had lost the high childish pitch and developed a deeper and mature but feminine voice. She had grown a lot more and her puppy fat had melted away from her face, giving her smooth high cheekbones and a sharp jawline. She had travelled alone, not meeting anyone along the way and was now temporarily staying for the night in a 2 floor abandoned studio apartment.

During that night, when she was once again alone with her thoughts, she let herself think back to Alexandria. She thought of Maggie, who was like a mother to her, and she hoped that she was alright and safe and alive. In the swarm of memories, there was always one face that stood out like a peacock in a field of pigeons: Carl Grimes. She remembered him so vividly and it always came back to that one day: she faced him, barely no space given between them because of the meagre size of the hollow tree trunk. She looked into his eyes and was intrigued by the miasma of blue shades that she saw. She was always so curious about him yet she left before she could quench the thirst of her curiosity.

She shook her head in annoyance that she had let her mind trail to this again and she shook the thoughts from her head. Outside of her window she saw that the sun was rising to welcome a new day. Not in any kind of rush, Enid packed away her things. She packed away what small supplies she had: a few tins, a small blanket and (kinda) clean underwear. She put her gun in its holster and her knife in her belt before heading out for the day.

After a few hours of travelling on foot, she came across a small row of houses that she recognised but she couldn't quite place a finger on where she had seen it before. In a bid to try and scavenge more food, she tried the doorknob on one of the doors, it was locked. She kicked the door in. She was expecting a walker to lunge at her but nothing was there, which surprised her. When she walked in the house, she knew that she had been there before but still didn't know when or why. She checked the cupboards the food but they were bare. Someone had been there before. Enid went upstairs and checked one of the rooms. She saw a comic lying open on a bed with a dog-eared page and a chest in the corner. In the chest, she found more tins of food and comic books, and then she remembered.

"This was the house! My little hideaway house! I remember it so clearly now!" she thought to herself. Back when she was in Alexandria, she would sneak away to his house to be alone. She had kept it stocked up with food and comics and kept the door locked; the only entrance was through the window.

She had started to pack away the tins and comics into her bag when she heard footsteps. But these footsteps weren't the clumsy heavy-footed steps of the dead. She could hear that they were delicate and purposefully moved like the ones of a human. Enid drew the gun from its holster and held it in one hand, and she held the knife in her other. As far as she could hear, it was only one person. Tingles spread down her spine and her palms sweat. She was facing away from the door, paralyzed with fear. The inevitability of death looming over her. The footsteps were getting closer and she could hear them coming up the stairs. Her mouth felt like sand paper. *Tip tap tip tap* came the footsteps as they walked through the corridor until Enid heard them come to a stop at the doorway.

*click* she heard from a gun

"Just do it! Shoot me! Get it over with!" She yelled at whoever was there. She was still facing away from the door, and refused to look at the hostile person standing there.

"Do it, okay? I don't give a shit anymore. I'm done!" she yelled again

What seemed like minutes passed. Enid could hear the rushing of her own heart beat in the tense silence. The person took a step forward and said only "Enid?"

*authors note* yes, yes, I know that this is part of the same storyline as someone elses fic. Buuutttt... I really loved their story and they abandoned it and in my head there was so much that I thought that I could do with it please don't hurt me, whoever wrote the original story plot. Anyway, this is my very first fanfic to the site and I would honestly be so grateful if you left a review. Thanks for reading. I will be updating this soon (maybe a chapter a week?)


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Enid?" The familiar voice was not harsh but gentle. She stayed silent for a few seconds before the voice enquired again "Enid?". She turned around to face the person. A battered sheriffs hat covered his eyes as he looked at the floor; she could see small amounts of stubble around his jaw; his dirty hair sat just above his shoulders, just as she had remembered it. He looked up to meet her gaze. A bandage covered his missing eye and she looked into his blue eye remembering, once again, the times from years ago; he too had grown up but he still had that boyish charm about him.

"Carl Grimes..." She said quite plainly. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"I know" He said with a lack of any facial expression. "I still don't know why you left in the first place."

"Sometimes I forget why..." She said, plainly, almost in some kind of stare off with him. "How are things? Back in Alexandria, is it still good?" She looked up at him with curiosity.

He looked away for a moment. "Its...secure. But there's less of us now. There was a massive attack. They killed a lot of us... and we killed all of them." He had sadness in his expression, Enid felt empathetic for his losses.

"Who..." she hesitated for a moment, unsure of herself. "Who died?" She asked, hoping that she wasn't crossing any lines by saying that.

"There was... a lot of us..." He paused for a moment "Rosita... Tobin... Heath... Tara... There was so many of us that were killed. My dad... Judith, Michonne, Glenn and Maggie, Daryl, Sasha, Eugene, Aaron and Eric. That's all that's left of us now" He looked down at his feet, feeling sad. Enid had the urge to hug him, to comfort him and make him happy again. She resisted.

"I... I'm sorry" Was all she said in response. There were a few sad moments of silence that passed between them. After what seemed like hours passed in minutes, Enid picked up her bag adjusting the straps on her shoulders. "Well, it was nice to see you again Carl. Once again, I'm sorry for your loss." She went to walk past him and out of the door but he blocked the way before she could get past.

"Wh- you're leaving? Already?" He said with a scared look in his eye "Bu-" He hesitated for a minute, struggling for words. "You should come back with us. Back to Alexandria. It's safe there. You... you don't need to keep just surviving somehow..." She saw a glint of something in his eye, but she couldn't tell what it was.

She looked up at him, her brows furrowed in thought and brashness. She thought of defying him, making a point of showing him that she could survive and that she really didn't need anyone's help. But then she remembered how harsh the last few months were. How she had almost starved and almost died countless times. Enid realised that, no matter how many times she tried to refuse it, she needed help.

"Fine. I'll go back with you." She said. Her voice sounded like she was admitting defeat. Carls face seemed to light up at the news, and he looked away so Enid wouldn't see. "Did you bring a car?" She said walking past him. "it would suck if we had to walk back there." Carl snapped out of his reverie. "Huh? Oh yeah. I came here by car." He said following her out. He saw Enid waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Throw me the keys?" She called up to him, waiting patiently holding on to the straps of her backpack.

"It's unlocked" He called back. "Parked just outside." He saw her walk out of the door. He quickly walked down he stairs and out of the door, following her. He walked over to the car and saw that she was already in the passenger seat. He got in the drivers seat and started the car.

The car journey back to Alexandria was an awkward one filled with silences and poor attempts at conversation. During the trip, Enid noticed differences in Carl that she hadn't noticed before: his eye had lost it's hopeful radiant light and was replaced by a hollow sadness; he had a scar underneath his ear that ran into the middle of his cheek.

They made it back to Alexandria in barely no time at all, but because it was so awkward, it seemed like forever to both Carl and Enid. They drove the car through the gates and parked it. They got out of the car and Enid started looking around, her eyes exploring the place that she had once called home.

"My dads out for a while on a huge supply run. So... I guess... You could stay at my place for a while?" He said quite awkwardly, like a schoolboy asking his crush to prom. Enid wasnt really paying attention and was looking else where "uh huh.. yeah sure." She muttered. Carl wasn't even sure that she heard what he had said, but he didn't worry about it. He started to walk off and that snapped Enid out of her reverie and she started to follow him. "Hey, do you know where Maggie is? I'd like to see her, catch up with her again." Carl looked at her, at the curiosity in her eyes. "Yeah, umm.. over there" He said pointing "I think that she would be happy to see you. She was so worried when you, ya know, left." Enid turned to face the way that he was pointing.

"Thanks."

"No problem.. See you later tonight?" Carl asked, hopefully.

"Yeah.. see you later" she said with a small wave.

Enid walked up to the house that Carl had pointed at. Stepping up to the front of the house, she rapped her fist on the door a few times, hoping that someone would answer. Not too long later, the door opened. Maggie was at the door with her head turned away yelling at someone. "Will you just calm down already!" She yelled to someone in the house. Enid waited patiently for her to stop. Finally, Maggie turned around to face Enid. Her eyes lit up with recognition "Enid! Oh my god!" She pulled Enid into a tight hug "Oh dear Lord, I missed you so much, young lady. Where did you go?" She said looking Enid in the eyes, smiling.

Before Enid could answer, a small boy came zooming out of the house, pulling on Maggie's trouser. "Mama! Mama!" The small child yelled impatiently. Maggie scooped him up into her arms. "Enid, this is my son Nathan. He's 2 years old." Nathan gave Enid a quizzical look before trying to poke her face. "Nathan, stop it." Maggie said, lowering Nathans arm from Enid's face. "Why don't you come inside. We have a lot to talk about." Maggie said, smiling before pulling Enid into another hug. "God, how I missed you!" She said into Enid's hair. Enid smiled, happy that Maggie was okay.

Authors note: Thanks for reading. I know that I didn't really have the most amount of Carnid but I'll try harder next chapter. Please leave a review. I'm really enjoying writing these and I hope that you enjoy reading them. If you have it, add me on Walkers Amino /ShannonIsASadBean or you will see me pop up in quite a few chats. Will probably upload the next chapter in the next week.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"After you left... There was a... war, of sorts" Maggie explained. They were sitting at a table in Maggie's house, both nursing a cup of coffee. "Negan and the Saviors... They attacked about two weeks after you were gone. They stole our supplies and they tried to kill us all. There was more of them then we could ever imagine, and they killed so many people. The innocent people of our community, children, people who couldn't even use a gun – all murdered mercilessly by the Saviors. There were a few survivors. Most of my group survived and so did Aaron and Eric. And then a couple months later, this little man came along." She said gesturing at Nathan who was sitting on the floor playing with toys. "Really changed things around here, people weren't so sad then because they saw new hope in the world. Boosted the morale. But it's still tough for everyone, it really is. I think that Eugene is still in mourning. I don't blame him, his two closest friends died.

"We are quite low on supplies though," Maggie continued "So Rick, Glenn and Michonne are out at the moment on a huge supplies run. Poor Carl, has to put up with babysitting little Judith every day now." Maggie said, smiling.

"How is she? Judith, I mean" Enid asked.

"Oh she's fine. She's growing up quickly, she is! Just the other day I heard her having a conversation with her brother, she speaks in full sentences now. I mean, she has grown up so quickly an-" Her sentence was cut off by a huge wail coming from Nathan. "Oh for Christ sakes." Maggie said standing up and picking an inconsolable child up into her arms. No matter how much Maggie tried, he wouldn't stop crying.

"Huh, I think that you've got a lot to deal with there so, I'll be going now. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Enid said, awkwardly, backing away until she stood by the door.

"Ugh.. Yep, you do that. GAH" Maggie said, struggling with the small child who was flailing around.

Enid left, shutting the door behind her. She wondered around trying to remember which house was the Grimes' house. She was walking around, not looking where she was going but looking around at the houses that surrounded her. She looked up and saw the house that she was pretty certain was the house that she was looking for. She walked up to it and, not knowing whether she should just go in or not, knocked on the door.

"It's open" She heard, calling from inside the house. She walked in, cautiously and nervously. She saw Carl sitting on the sofa reading an actual book and not a comic book. Judith sat next to him with a colouring book that she was scribbling in.

"Hey" She said quietly. Both Carl and Judith looked up from their books.

"Hey." Carl said with a smile. "How did it go with Maggie?"

"Fine. Her son's cute." Enid replied, walking away from the door.

"Oh Nathan, he's a little troublemaker that one. But Judith plays with him sometimes and together, they could probably take down Alexandria" He said jokingly. Judith ran over to Enid and hugged her leg. "She remembers you. I remember, she liked you."

"Eend. Where did 'oo go?" Judith said in that weird voice that toddlers all seem to have. She could speak proper sentences but, like most toddlers, couldn't pronounce them quite right. Judith was looking up at Enid with big eyes, "Eend, Eend, I missed 'oo" Judith still couldn't say "Enid" right so instead said "Eend".

"Judith, get back here." Carl called to Judith. "I doubt that she wants you stalking her everywhere."

"It's fine" Enid said, picking Judith up. Judith cuddled into Enid. "But your brothers right," She said to Judith "You can't just follow me everywhere."

Enid walked over to the sofa and sat down next to Carl with Judith in her arms. "I'm shocked to see you reading anything apart from a comic book. It's unheard of. Literally, you would never read anything apart from comics. You nerd" She said joking while Judith tried to poke Carls shoulder.

"Huh, things change, I guess." Carl said quite plainly.

"You know, I really missed this place while I was gone" She said looking at him with sad eyes. Enid rested her head on his shoulder.

"When you left.. we searched for you for weeks. I- We were so worried but then... we just gave up one day. We thought that you wouldn't want to come back and that it was your choice to leave. I didn't want to give up. I wanted to keep searching, but they wouldn't let me..." He looked at her. She lifted her head from his shoulder to look him in the eyes. Judith climbed down from them and went off to play with some toys.

"Carl.. I- I honestly missed this place so much." She said sadly

"Then why did you leave?" Carl asked her with betrayal in his voice.

"I- had to. I couldn't stay anymore.. I just didn't know what to-" Her sentence was cut off as Carl pressed his lips to hers. Enid was startled for a minute but kissed back. Neither of them closed their eyes, and instead looked into each others eyes(s) as if there were small galaxies in there to explore. Carl pulled away first, looking embarrassed

"Sorry.. I-..." He didn't know what to say and instead just looked away, awkwardly. Enid put her hand on his cheek and moves his face round to look at her.

"You have nothing to apologise for." She said smiling and she leaned in to kiss him. He leaned up to meet her. She leaned into him, her hand still holding his face. Their hands met each others, fingers laced together. Carl put his hand on her waist and she tangled her fingers in his hair. Enid pulled away, and they both looked into each others eyes for a moment. Enid moved so that she was sitting next to him with her head tucked into the crook of his neck. By then, the sun had set and it was dark outside. After a few minutes of silence, Enid spoke up.

"Carl.. I- I think that I-" Her sentence was cut off by Judith, who had climbed up onto the sofa and was poking Carl in the face.

"Arl. Arl, I tired." She said, oblivious that she had interrupted anything. Carl sat up, holding Judith.

"Hey, Ill be right back, just gotta take this little one upstairs" Carl said to Enid. She started to stand up too.

"I'm pretty tired too, might go to bed myself. Are there any spare bedrooms? If not, Ill just sleep on the couch."

"Well there aren't any spare bedrooms, unless you want to sleep on the bed in my Dad and Michonnes room. But I wont let you take the couch."

"Why not?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Because, you're a guest and I'm not going to make you sleep on the couch. You can take my bedroom."

She didn't want to argue and she could see that he was practically pleading with his eyes for her to not try and argue back to him.

"Fine. I'll take Judith up too. Goodnight." She said walking over to him and giving him a peck on the cheek. Enid scooped up Judith and walked upstairs.

They had taken over, the undead claiming Alexandria. Enid ran but came to dead ends everywhere. She heard Carl call out to her and she turned to face him, just as the walkers bit into his flesh. He did not shout, he did not resist. Seconds later he turned and had become one of the monsters in pursuit of her. They were closing in and she could see no route of escape. She saw that the walkers pursuing her were the Alexandrian residents, innocent people turned into unnatural monsters. There was no way out now. Death was inevitable. She felt the first one grab her arm and its gruesome teeth sank into her arm and another one bit into her neck-

A blood-curling scream rang out throughout the house as Enid woke from her nightmare. She bolted upright, tears flowing from her eyes. It had been so vivid. She cuddled her knees up to her chest, trying to calm down. Next thing she knew, she heard footsteps racing up the stairs and a few seconds later, Carl came running into the room, throwing the door open. He said nothing but as soon as he saw her sitting on the bed crying, he walked over and sat next to her on the bed with him arm around her. Her head leant sideways onto his shoulder.

"You okay now?" He asked her in a gentle whisper. She nodded a small response. "Good." He whispered. "Don't worry. I'm not going to leave you." He said to her as she lay down again. He lay down too and no one spoke a word. They couldn't tell whether the other person had fallen asleep. There wasn't much space on the single bed, so they were very close. Enid's hand searched for his until she found it and pulled it across her. He didn't resist and to Enid , it seemed like he was asleep until he whispered into her hair: "No matter what, I'll always be here for you. I won't let you go back to just surviving somehow."

They fell asleep that night peacefully, Carl's body protectively wrapped around hers, spooning. She held onto his hand while sleeping, and neither of them moved or woke again for the rest of the night.

A/N: Sorry that I was a little late to send this. This chapter is a bit longer then the others and there is some cute Carnid fluff. I will not write smut because I'm too innocent of a human bean. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave a review. It helps a lot to know if you guys actually enjoy this. Next chapter will be up in a week or two.


	4. Not an update

Hey guys, this isn't an update but there will be one soon. I have had a lot of shit come up so that's why I haven't been so quick to write. But please, pretty please, if you see this PLEASE leave a review. I haven't really gotten any reviews at all and I really want to know how you guys are liking it. Anything I should change? Storyline ideas? It only takes a minute to write a review so please do.

\- The pretty sweg author of this fanfic


	5. Chapter 4

A/N: Jeez Louise its been a long time since I've written anything. I'm going to try and write more frequently, I promise. PLEASE REMEMBER TO LEAVE REVIEWS. I HAVE HAD 2.

Carol walked over to the Grimes house, per a certain Rick Grimes request, to check on Carl and Judith. Although Rick knew that Carl was 19, he still was very protective of him.

Carol quietly opened the door and walked in, holding a small box of cookies. She went into the kitchen and put the cookies on the table. She walked upstairs, still quiet to not wake up anyone if they were still sleeping, and first went into Judith's room. Judith was wide awake. "Caroo! Caroo!" she said in excitement. She couldn't actually pronounce Carols name correctly so that's how she said it. Carol was like a mother to Judith, and Judith would always burst out in excitement every time that she saw her. Carol smiled and chuckled a little but put a finger to her lips to tell Judith to quiet down because her brother was still sleeping.

Carol helped Judith get dressed and brush her teeth and took her downstairs. "Now you wait here nicely, sweetheart, while I go and check on your brother." She said to Judith. Judith smiled at her "Is Arl still sleeping? Lazy Arl!" Judith said giggling. Carol smiled and nodded before going upstairs. She walked over to Carls room and, quietly and slowly, pushed open the door.

She was shocked to see that Carl wasn't the only one in the bed. There was a young girl that she recognised from before, lying next to him. Both of their bodies turned away from each other, as far away as they could get from each other in the small space that was available, and their hands met in the middle. She smiled. Carl had grown up now, but she wouldn't tell Rick yet unless Carl wanted to. She doubted that Carl would even want her knowing. She backed out of the room and shut the door. Having decided that she was going to act like she didn't know what was happening, she knocked on the door.

Carl and Enid were asleep, side by side. For once Enid's nightmares had stopped. Then came the knock on the door. They both jumped up, quickly and alert. "Carl?" they heard Carols voice from outside of the door.

"Shit." Carl muttered. "It's Carol." Enid looked nervous and a little bit scared.

"What do I do?" She whispered. Little did they know that Carol could hear every word of what was happening.

"I don't know? Hide?"

"Where?" Enid was a little panicky, thinking that they didn't have much time.

"Um.. In the bathroom?" He pointed to the on-suite bathroom.

"Okay." She said quickly walking over there and hiding behind the door.

"Carl?" Came Carols voice, again, from outside. Carl quickly slipped back into bed, when he spoke, he feigned grogginess, as if only just waking up.

"hmm? Good morning Carol." He said as she entered the room.

"Good morning Carl. Only just woken up, huh?"

"yeah.." He said groggily

"Wrong. Don't play dumb with me young man, I'm not stupid. Young lady," She said, addressing Enid "Would you mind coming out from your hiding place?"

After a moment of waiting, Carl and Carol saw Enid reluctantly walk out from her hiding place behind the bathroom door.

"Okay." Carol said calmly. "I understand that you don't want me to know and I understand this, but I have nothing against you having a girlfriend Carl. And if you don't want me to, then I will not tell your father when he gets back."

There was a moment of awkward silence.

"So, are you going to come down for breakfast? You can join us if you want" She said to Enid.

"Yeah.. uh.. we'll be down in a minute" Carl said. Carol nodded and went downstairs.

"Sorry about that.." Carl said awkwardly to Enid. He was a little embarrassed about the situation, but was happy that Carol was so accepting and understanding.

"Its okay." Enid replied, shrugging it off. "Its nice that she understands. And she isn't going to tell your dad. So it's fine." She said smiling.

"Okay then," He said standing up and walking over to her. He kissed her on the forehead. "I love you.." He smiled.

"I love you too." She replied. "Want to go downstairs now? I'm starving and pretty freaking grateful for the invitation.

Okay, imma stop this chapter here. Thnx for reading. I know that this was a shorter chapter but I just really wanted to get something out there because I haven't uploaded in ages. REMEMBER TO REVIEW.


	6. Apology

GAAAAHHH Im so sorry guys, Ive been so busy and I haven't been able to write. In fact, I had almost forgotten about it until I got a review yesterday. But I genuinely promise that I will have a chapter out soon. Thanks for your patience and thanks for sticking along with my story. Honestly, writing this is so fun and having other people actually reading it is such a cool thing.

Thanks a lot. Xx.


	7. An important update

So. Some of you might wonder why the hell I've been gone for so long without an update.

My has been bugging out for a while

So I've moved!

I'm now on Wattpad ( MichonnesSword) and you can find the rest of this story there (However, on Wattpad, I've called it 3 Years Alone.

I won't really be using this account much more and I'm a shit ton more active on Wattpad.

See you there?


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